What is self-talk and how does it effect your life?

What is self-talk?

Self-talk refers to your inner-dialogue.  Oftentimes your inner voice reflects your internal biases and judgements.  Therefore self-talk is something we do throughout the day.

This could be planning your day mentally, reminding yourself of things that need your attention or observations.

Self-talk doesn’t always reflect your true feelings  or opinions, but learned biases, passed down by your parents.  Or a reflection of things you are constantly hearing.

The 3 types of self-talk

There are 3 common types of self-talk; neutral, positive and negative.

Neutral self-talk

These are general observations you make throughout the day.  Like recognising the cold or a smell.  Basically these thoughts have neither positive or negative connotations.

Positive self-talk

These are thoughts that make us feel good about ourselves and our environment.  It is focused on treating yourself with kindness and compassion.

They can help us mitigate the effects of stress and anxiety and fend off feelings of depression.  Positive self-talk greatly improves your quality of life.  For example you might say “You’ve done well today”, or “that didn’t go to plan but what can you do differently next time?”

Negative self-talk

It can take many forms and can sound like the musings of your inner-critic.  Therefore it limits your ability to believe in yourself and reach your potential.

Moreover, it diminishes your ability to make positive changes and lowers your confidence.  With lower confidence, it can have harmful effects on your mental health and increase feelings of stress, anxiety and lead to depression.

Negative self-talk can also alter your perception of reality, making you think others are out to get you or even hold grudges against you, due to your own preconceived notions.

The effect on athletes

As one of my clients said:

“I’ve tried sports psychologists, read over 15 self-improvement books, I’m constantly trying to understand my mind and the minds of those that are successful, but the biggest lesson I’ve learned from working with Mike is that my biggest asset is myself and I can tap into that without any special tactics or interventions when I let go of the habits and social constructs I’ve aligned myself with.  My wellbeing is 100% better”

Through recognising his biggest asset is himself, he took back control of his inner dialogue and created change in a way that worked for him.

To find out more about self talk visit us by clicking here

Alternative to using a sports psychologist

What’s an alternative to using a sports psychologist?

“I expected a better personal performance but nothing this drastic!  This is the first time in my 10-plus-year career, I’ve scored 20 points and not missed a single shot”

Let me give you the back-story to this quote.

In 2013, A professional basketball player wrote a weekly column in a newspaper and one week he wrote about his struggles and his inability to create the change he wanted.

He was known as a scorer, had represented England but had lost his scoring touch and had no idea why.

Being a basketball guy with a new set of skills to try, I reached out to him offering my time to listen to him and to see if we could create a change.

We arranged a time to talk on the phone.  He spoke openly and honestly, and as I listened, I pulled out my new bag of tricks at relevant moments, asking specific questions, which allowed him to consider new perspectives to try on and I remember him pausing for a moment after I suggested something particular about miscommunication and in hindsight, this was his breakthrough moment.

Our call lasted around 45 minutes and I for one, had no idea what would happen at his next game which was the night after.

I didn’t make contact with him after the game but remember having a conversation with him and he telling me he would love to write about his experience and give me a mention in his article, which you can read here.

In his own words, he told of his drastic turnaround and unbelievable performance.  I was really happy for him and pleased the money I’d invested in my personal development had helped someone overcome their struggles.

What method did I use to help him? Was it therapy, counselling? Was this an alternative to sports psychology?

Other alternatives to sports psychologists

Therapy – Therapy is working with the client who seeks relief from psychological or physical symptoms and deals with the client’s mental health. Coaching deals with the client’s mental growth

Training – The trainer by definition is the expert, and the training course is likely to be targeted on specific skills for immediate results

Consultancy – A consultant provides expertise and solves business problems, or develops a business as a whole. A consultant deals with the overall organisation or specific parts of it and not individuals within it

Teaching – Teaching passes knowledge from teacher to student. The teacher knows something the student does not. The opposite is true in coaching. The client is the expert and the client has the answers, not the coach

Mentoring – Mentoring is when a senior colleague, seen as more knowledgeable and worldly wise gives advice and provides a role model. A mentor is a sponsor with great professional experience in their client’s field of work

Counselling – Counselling is working with a client who feels uncomfortable, or dissatisfied with their life. They are seeking guidance and advice

What method had I used? 

In the 1970’s two men at the University of California, Santa Cruz, John Grinder, a linguist, and Richard Bandler, an information scientist and mathematician developed Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)

Bandler modelled the methods used by Virgina Satir (1916-1988), American author, social worker, and internationally esteemed family therapist; co-founder of the Mental Research Institute (MRI) in Palo Alto, California.

Bandler also modelled the work of Fritz Perls, (1893–1970), who developed a form of psychotherapy that he known as gestalt therapy. Influenced by Perls’ work, Bandler formed study groups and gave workshops, that were cantered around gestalt therapy.

Bandler and Grinder teamed up, to study the principles that governed the language structure of gestalt therapy. They wanted to define the techniques and skills used by successful therapist.

What was the difference that made the difference?

Bandler and Grinder did whatever worked and removed didn’t work. They studied the work, writings and recordings of Perls and Satir, to extract the essence that made these two therapists exceptional.  (Source)

The NLP strategies I used with the basketball allowed him to understand his reality and what he needed to do differently then take action, all of which he did brilliantly. 

The added value of emotional intelligence

Around the same time with a new open mind to learning and a thirst to learn more, I enrolled on an emotional Intelligence course called Evaluating Truth and Credibility, delivered by The Emotional Intelligence Academy

The course was aimed at helping you understand and identify misalignments in communication between body language and verbal content with the aim to spot when someone is lying or trying to cover up the truth.  I found it fascinating and as the course went on, my mind sought out possibilities to use these concepts in sports, specifically basketball, after all basketball players attempt to trick the opponents and use fakes to gain an advantage.

Having completed the course and now with a heightened, weird sense of wanting to stare at people, I and the director of the Academy, had a conversation about moving my idea forward.  He suggested establishing a test condition with players playing 1 on 1 and gathering film to analyse and break down.  We needed evidence and scientific data to support the theory that players can improve quickly when they learn how to read body language and facial expressions.

The research

For the next 3 months I travelled around the North West of England filming players from professional to amateur, banking 1000 clips of 200 players.  Now the easy part was done, I had to watch these clips over and over and spot commonalities, removing what was useless and using what was useful in an attempt to extract data and then create some kind of program.

Thankfully one of the Director’s son’s Jordan, gave me a helping hand every now and again with the use of the studio and the huge screen they used when analysing facial expressions, making spotting the tells, a lot easier than staring at a 15″ screen.

Now I had a program, what could I do with it? 

Not long afterwards, I had an opportunity to work with another former England player.  I coached him to integrate the new tools into his defensive game which allowed him to improve right there, on the basketball camp he and I were coaching on.

So now with NLP and emotional intelligence training under my belt, I set myself the challenge of creating a new practice to help people overcome struggles and improve performance.

The positives and negatives

Using the best bits of both practices and removing what was useless, I went on to help a female soccer player/psychologist in New York win her first ever MVP in 25 years which again spurred me on to connect with more athletes.

My journey took an unexpected route because I was finding there were many former and current athletes struggling with issues that affected their performance and wellbeing.  Unable to reach out for help, they tolerated their situation and some lost out on some great opportunities such as the football player who was on the verge of signing for Paris Saint-Germain (PSG), but missed out because he didn’t have the opportunity to reach out and explore how and why his mind was talking him out of taking that opportunity.

The more people I spoke with, the more I learned.  The more I learned, the more I adapted what I now call the Neuro Emotional Awareness Training (NEAT) program.

Using the same principles but different delivery methods to suit the client, here are some of the success stories over the years:

Powerful words from clients

“MY WELLBEING IS 100% BETTER. I’ve tried sports psychologists, I’ve read over 15 self-improvement books, I’m constantly trying to understand my mind and the minds of those who are successful, but the biggest lesson I’ve learned from working with Mike is that my biggest asset is myself and I can tap into that without any special tactics or interventions when I let go of the habits and social constructs I’ve aligned myself with“ Pro basketball player

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“I’ve never experienced coaching like this before? Mostly in books I’ve read they give you techniques like visualisation, positive self-talk and body language etc which I find useful, but in this program I actually get to know who I am and what I stand for: I’ve started to realise what are the things that distract me, and the people who negatively influence me. I’ve actually learned to be aware of my thoughts“ Football (soccer) player – Finland

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“Definitely since I first spoke to you I haven’t felt any negative thoughts or anxiety completely at all which is fantastic!”  Football player – UK

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“I expected a better personal performance but nothing this drastic! This is the first time in my 10-plus-year career I’ve scored 20 points and not missed a single shot.”  Pro Basketball Player – UK

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“I am continuing to apply the technique without much thought needed. “I won my first ever MVP!”  Soccer player – USA

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“Yes, can definitely recommend with golfers or other sportsmen, it can help anybody improve in their sport”  Pro golfer – UK

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“The amount I’ve improved the last month is CRAZY! Your help is honestly incredible”  esports FIFA Pro – UK

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The value in talking

Their words keep me driving forward and wanting to help others who are struggling but to those athletes struggling I say this:

Of those who have struggled in the past, the majority have said they wished they had spoken up sooner and sought help sooner, which could have helped them avoid avoid therapy or counselling

It can be difficult to reach out to your coach, agent, or team psychologist because there is the association with the club and that association can be enough to put someone off from asking for help because you might be fearful of being exposed as weak or fear being judged or criticised for asking for help, which in turn jeopardises your career and livelihood.

As you can see, we are much different than sports psychologists

Our alternative to a sports psychologist

As an individual, one alternative to using a sports psychologist is accessing the NEAT system from the comfort of your own home, in your own time WITHOUT the fear of being judged or criticised and without the fear of your words or experiences getting back to anyone because our primary goal is to help you for your sake.  We will only share your experiences if you give us permission, if you think your experiences can teach others.

Get in touch if:

• You’re struggling and feel like quitting
• You feel alone
• You feel you can’t live up to expectations
• You don’t trust some of your friends
• You’ve struggled with confidence in your head

When you get in touch and I listen to your thoughts, I can offer you:

• The space to be confident
• Confidential and discreet 1-2-1 coaching
• Non-judgemental service without criticising
• Accessible and flexible contact methods
• Proof that the coaching works from past successes

Should you decide to hire our company to help you, know that:

• Together we will remove your struggles and rediscover your love for the game
• Together we will form a partnership of trust
• Together we will learn what your expectations are
• Together we will help your mind find balance and calm
• Together we will improve your status

How we can help sporting organisations

As a professional sporting organisation, we understand success on and off the field of play is essential to your brand, your fans and investors and when a player’s performance drops, losses can come quickly, putting everyone under pressure and as a former high level player and professional coach, I know more than most, what that pressure feels like. 

As a sporting organisation, by hiring us, you instantly remove the distraction of managing the mental performance of the player, and let us do the hard work for you, so you can focus on what you do best. 

Will coaching be used as a replacement for sports psychologists?

Sports psychology and coaching are two very different methods of engagement, each with their merits and strategies. Exploring coaching options when sports psychology is drawing a blank would be the smart option and vice versa. You have to find a way that works for you based on past results and experiences.

What can you do now?

Explore your options, and there is no better way to explore your option than speaking with a professional.

Visit us at elitesportsminds23 or drop us a message

Can introverts in sports be great leaders?

Look around at any sport team and you’ll notice a player that stands out

There will be a player that is leading

And although not each leader has the same personality, they have something in common that makes them great leadership material

There are three qualities great leaders posses and I want to share those with you now

• A drive to improve
• A desire to make their team mates better
• An ability to step up when it matters
• An ability to communicate effectively
• A high level of awareness

Leading is a role not suited to everyone, and some even go as far as to avoid stepping into the leadership spotlight but those that embrace the role do so with the purpose to be responsible for when things go wrong and to share the wealth when things go right

I used to be really shy and the thought of leading sent shivers down my spine. There were others that were louder than I, some better skilled than I and some that were more suited than I, but in those days, I did a couple of things really well…listen and observe.

Perhaps my introverted self allowed me to become a master of listening and observing, just as the stereotypical introvert would, but that ‘training’ served me well because at some point I would step into that leadership role.

I was self critical because I believed, through observation and listening, to be a great leader you had to be the best, you had to be loud and you had to give orders and there was something that didn’t sit right with me, so as the reluctant leader, I forged a way forward in my own way.

Listening and observing came naturally to me so all I had to figure out was how to transfer those skills into leadership skills.

So I asked questions. I asked players what they thought needed to change and what was working well. I’d read books on leadership and the mind and taken some courses and when I learned introverts can be leaders and leadership qualities do include listening and observing, I felt a sense of comfort.

The true secret to leading is to understand each individual on your team and learn what makes them tick and what motivates them to succeed and that involves asking questions and listening, then simply helping them understand what they need to do differently for them to thrive

I don’t believe you have to shout and criticise to get results

I don’t believe belittling someone is a way of motivation

I don’t believe the leader should take credit for all great results

Leading in sports is fun yet challenging and is a role that can be filled by an introvert that listens and observes so if you are the kind of person that likes the idea of leading but doesn’t have the confidence because you’re not loud or the best, think again!

You may just be the leader your team needs!

Do you know someone who wants to be a great leader?

Are you someone who wants to learn how to lead?

I’ve recently launched a new website called Purposeful Thinking which can be found by clicking here and If you want to chat about leadership, book a call

Your past does not define whom you can become!

Who you are today is a culmination of experiences and perspectives and most of the time, how you are is OK.  You do OK.  But when it comes to professional sports, being OK isn’t good enough.  You have to be excellent or at least be striving for excellence but reaching that level takes determination, guts and smart work, but what happens to your focus when something negative happens in your life.  Perhaps a death, an injury, a fall out with a family member or even succumbing to pressure and stress.

Many athletes over the years have spoken about their struggles, Frank Bruno, Kevin Love, Michael Phelps, just to name 3 but a quick google search will bring you up a list even longer with no surprise.

So what can you do?  What can you do to move away from the struggles quickly and get yourself back on track.

Let me share this story with you

For many many years, a man had taken the same path to work.  He saw the same people, saw the same shops and felt the same way.  He was familiar with this routine and familiarity gave him a sense of comfort and this comfort gave him happiness.  He had no reason to change his route, he had no reason to walk faster, yet one day something changed but he didn’t know what.  His thoughts began to niggle at him.

This niggle grew into an itch and after several days, his happiness has turned into anxiety.  Instead of smiling at the people he walked past, he was on edge and avoided eye contact and had thoughts of changing something but he didn’t know what or how.  He was so familiar with his journey that thinking about changing it, only brought on a fear, so he tolerated and tolerated until one day he decided not to get up.

Sometimes when we feel the need for change, we fear what might happen if we did change, and the sense of familiarity pulls us back from growing and we continue to tolerate, even when you know something needs to change.

But these past events do not define who we can become.  Past events do not have to hold you down and stop you from achieving by doing and thinking differently.

You always have a choice to move away from negativity and choose to walk a new path and doing it is as simple as changing the direction in which you walk, who you talk with and recognising when you want change.  You have to hold yourself accountable.  You have to make new decisions because it’s very unlikely someone else will recongnise you want to change and help you.

So if you feel something needs to change, create that change for yourself!

Thanks for reading and remember to Take action, Reflect, Adjust and repeat 

Play with purpose

Are you setting unrealistic expectations?

An expectation is something you expect to achieve, a goal or something to aspire to which in the competitive world of sports, plays a huge part in performance yet in my experience of working with players at high levels there is a common denominator that limits the growth and potential of players.

Unrealistic expectations set by others.

When someone else sets your expectations or the player hears the expectations from others so often they begin to believe them, the only outcome can be failure and it was this situation I found myself hearing from a current client.

This player had played at the highest level, representing his country yet inside he felt he was failing because he wasn’t able to live up to the expectation of others.

The unrealistic expectations he’s heard forever, left him questioning his ability and performance at the end of each game and this had gone on for many years.

He sees himself as a failure in some ways even though he’s doing well in some areas.

We talked and we were able to reframe his thinking and his understanding of expectations and the value of setting his own expectations because when you set your own expectations and achieve them, there is a greater sense of accomplishment and success than when others set you unrealistic expectations.

This reframing of his mindset frees him from the sense of failure of not living up the the unrealistic expectations which does two things:

Allows him to play more freely and with purpose

Heightens his well being

Many players are suffering due to unrealistic expectations placed on them, yet they tolerate them because they think being a professional sports player involves tolerating the hard times because that’s what it takes to win.

Bullshit!

Coaches get it wrong when they set players unrealistic expectations, because they are simply setting them up to fail which can lead to some players dropping out of the game, losing motivation and in some instances worse, and who wins in these situations.

If you’re a coach, I urge you to talk to your players about expectations and the value in allowing them to set their own.

If you’re a player then I urge you to learn to set your own expectations and shut out the noise that others place on you.

Thanks for reading and remember to Take action, Reflect, Adjust and repeat 

Play with purpose

Top 7 tips to improve sports performance

Being an athlete requires some level of dedication but dedication doesn’t necessarily equate to improving.

I see many athletes, going through the motions and ‘competing’ yet they don’t improve and I always ask the question why do they play, and over the years there’s some commonalities I’ve learned that stop a person from improving.

Here are my top 7 tips to improving your sports performance

1. Have a need or desire to improve – I’ve learned some athletes are content being where they are and their current performance level and that’s fine. Each to their own so to speak but these people don’t have a need or desire to improve. They have a desire or need to stay the same and until that desire or need to improve, becomes greater than the desire or need to improve, good luck to them!
2. Have an open mind to learning new concepts and perspectives – If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got, said Henry Ford, the automotive tycoon. When you go through the same training routines at the same level of effort, having the same attitude towards training and playing, you will always get the same outcomes. Improving involves pushing yourself to come out of your comfort boundaries which means learning how to think and act differently.
3. Take action – It’s one thing to learn new concepts and strategy and a whole new ball game when you actually take action. I see some athletes learning new strategy then when the moment comes, they fail to take action. There are a few reasons why this happens
4. Perspective; don’t fear the change, embrace the opportunity – When you learn a new concept or perspective, one reason that stops a person from taking action is fear. Some people don’t like change because it takes them away from what they know and what’s comfortable, yet no-one ever improved by staying comfortable in their own bubble. Change should be seen as an opportunity and with this opportunity comes excitement
5. Know the power of self-talk – As we just realised, the perspective of approaching a new situation can elicit fear or excitement which ties in with the power of self-talk. What you say begins a series of thought processes and your synapses begin to fire which release emotions. When you talk about fear and negativity, your body and mind will begin to act in a way to protect itself, to keep it safe, but when you talk about opportunity and excitement, your mind and body will begin to act in a way that helps you grow and improve. But beware, if improving your self-talk is new to you, your old thinking habits may try to hijack you and drag you backwards. Stay strong and practice positive self-talk
6. Know your coach probably doesn’t have the solutions to your need to improve – This harsh reality is common for many competitors and although there are some coaches that understand what it takes to improve, many are too focused on strategy, techniques and plays, leaving players frustrated. As a player you have a right to understand what the coach wants from you and it’s reasonable to ask your coach questions. Some coaches believe they are the be all and end all of communication, placing themselves onto a pedestal, creating an environment where the coach tells the player what to do and the player complies with their instructions. This style of coaching is becoming obsolete as a new breed of coach understands the value of listening to players and understanding their perspective. The question you can ask any coach to help you improve is “what can I do to help the team?” The answer will prompt a new thought from the coach and the answer he gives you will give you clarity on your next moves
7. Don’t follow the crowd for the sake of it – To improve means doing things differently and if that means doing things that the crowd don’t do, then go and do it. As a younger basketball player I took on many of the tips I’m sharing with you now and at only 5′ 7″ in a game full of much taller, stronger players, I had to do things differently but it was this different approach that led me to be voted the MVP of the England U19 basketball team at a tournament in Etten Leur, Holland. Learn to be bold and set your own standards

BONUS

As you learn and grow, you will make mistakes but know a mistake is just an act that didn’t give you the expected outcome at that moment in time. Go again and make the necessary adjustments.

Are you ready to improve but want some support?

Here at Elite Sports Minds 23 we have created the NEAT System – a proven system that gets results. To find out more click here

The Moral Of The Cyclist

Brand New Bike

Photo by Philipp M on Pexels.com

there was a man who wanted to do something new. He wanted to feel different as he realised he needed something to keep him motivated and after some consideration, he decided to get into cycling.

He was a well off man; plenty of money in the bank and when he researched bikes, he realised there was so many options, but his focus was on getting the most expensive bike his money could buy so he visited the shop that had five star reviews, found a bike, paid for it and took it home.

Action Time!

Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com

Early that evening, the sun was shining, the air was still and he’d finished the last episode of The Last Dance for the second time. It was the perfect time to jump on the bike and head out.

Nervous at first, he set off slowly, but as he headed into the hills, his confidence grew and with his new found confidence, he began to go more off road (his hybrid bike was deliberately designed for both the road and off-road)

The Problem

Photo by Inzmam Khan on Pexels.com

Then out of nowhere a large sharp rock appeared out of nowhere! He lifted his front tyre to avoid it, but he wasn’t quick enough. He heard a loud pop, his rear tyre began to slide side to side as he slammed on his brakes. Luckily the soft grass softened his landing, but it was clear he had a problem.

Without a puncture repair kit his options were limited. What was he going to do?

The Moral

The moral of the story is this – Sometimes, it’s not the best that will get you through to where you desire to be, but your preperation and ability to overcome a challenge.

Where are you in your journey?

Are you just starting it, involved and enjoying it or have you had a puncture and now you realise you’re under-prepared?

The Journey To Become The Most Sought After Sports Mental Performance Specialist Part 13

“Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.”

Tony Robbins

Is Material Wealth The Answer To Your Problems?

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Did you find a reason to want to change from the last blog?

Having a reason to change drives you forward when things aren’t working but not everyone wants a reason to change. They would rather stay in the comfort of their own little bubble.

A Valuable Message

Last night I rediscovered a valuable message that I need to share with you.

This is relevant for people in sports, business and life so please share with people that might need a gentle nudge in the right direction.

Whatever your craft, whatever you excel at, you know you’ve spent hours, months and years honing that craft.

Your performance in that skill is unparallelleded and you’ve accomplished some great things.

This is what we call being skilled in Achievement. You took your time to learn a skill that has helped you get as far as you have.

You have become skilled in achieving something, be it sports, business or life. You may have achieved winning a league title, achieving a remarkable turnover of 5 million in a year or have achieved cool dad status!

Two Powerful Components

Success has two components

1. Mastering The Skill Of Achievement
2. Mastering The Art Of Fulfilment

Let me explain what this means to you

Your Achievements lead to external rewards – Money, houses, cars, fame just to name a few and in some way, having this material wealth can give you some satisfaction.

But this is short lived and can be taken away from you in an instant.

Just look how Covid-19 has changed the way people are living and earning a living. I know there are people out there suffering

The Misconception About Material Wealth

Many people with material wealth often have a sense of something being missing and they think they need more cars, a bigger house, more money to fill that gap and for a short period, the sense of something being missing goes away.

This only heightens their mistaken belief that having more material wealth solves their problems.

But the reality is that gap can only be filled with a sense of fulfilment but very few people know how to accomplish that.

Although they have Mastered The Craft Of Achieving, they have yet to Master The Art Of Fulfilment.

There is no blame to associate with this lack of knowledge because as much as we can assign importance to learning how to be fulfilled, schools, colleges and universities don’t deliver lessons on how to accomplish fulfilment, yet it is one of the most powerful arts and can be life changing in so many different ways.

I’ve researched and connected with former professional football players and talked about mental health and understand if only they had invested time, money and effort into mastering the art of fulfilment, many would have avoided the hardships they find themselves in now.

But a message to these players, it’s not too late! You can quickly discover a sense of fulfilment when you shift your focus away from you and onto others you care about. It’s easy to blame yourself, be critical to yourself and tell yourself what if, but this energy only drains your ability to feel fulfilled because you’re missing out on life as you focus internally on what you believe the problem to be. The problem is your perspective, not the situation. Shift your perspective and see what happens!

Being a professional football player has a shelf life and at some point, all that time and effort spent on mastering the skill of football suddenly becomes redundant as playing stops. You can no longer achieve on the field.

But being human lasts a lifetime so it makes sense to spend time on mastering the art of fulfilment because once playing football ends, you must find a way to fill that gap.

One of the most powerful ways to fill that gap is to give back. To take your skills and help others, either through charitable work for example.

If you’ve invested your money well during your time as a football player, you will have enough money to live on and perhaps you want to live a more fulfilling life by spending quality time with your family, building a business or perhaps becoming a wine connoisseur?

But you must start setting the foundation now. Don’t wait until the football ends!

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Perhaps you want to chat about fulfilment and what you can do differently and I’m opining up my calendar. If you feel you would benefit from a chat, please book a time slot by clicking this link.

The Journey To Become The Most Sought After Sports Mental Performance Specialist Part 12

“Growth is actually contagious, so if you want to reach your goals, you’ve got to get around people who are going in the same direction you want to be going, and you will catch the success.”

Dr Henry Cloud

If you’re not improving, what are you doing?

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The player you are today is not the same as the player you were before Corona hit us.

You went from playing and training consistently, competing against your team mates and other teams, to training alone.

Your mindset shifted as your routine shifted.

But what does this mean for your future?

What does that mean to your ability?

Have you improved or lost a step? How do you know?

During the season with consistent training and playing, you gauge your ability based on how your opposition and team mates play and will rank yourself amongst your peers in various categories.

How fast you are, how tall you are, how skilled you are, how smart you are, how strong you are and so on.

You’ll have an idea of where you fit into the team.

Let me ask you a question.

Be honest with yourself

Before Corona locked us down, were you enjoying your time on the team?

If you answered yes, that tells me you were satisfied with your contribution and accepted your role on the team.

If you answered no, that tells me you want things to change.

You’ve had opportunity to improve during lockdown so what have you been doing about it?

Again be honest with yourself.

Have you stepped up your game and set a training schedule to help you

Or have you fallen into poor habits and been lackadaisical in your approach?

I understand through specific training in NLP, CBT, Emotional Intelligence and experience, you can improve quickly when you shift your mind.

For the uninitiated, this concept can seem unreal or pointless so little attention is paid to knowing more so let me try to convince you otherwise because you deserve to know how to improve.

It’s my passion to help struggling athletes understand the power of the mind, so they can improve their situation and continue to do well in the sport that allows their passion to thrive. Currently I’m helping three athletes, two from football and one from golf, to improve their situation.

To give you a taste of what can be achieved, let me share these tips:-

A simple conversation can break down mental barriers that are limiting your potential. One player was feeling anxious and lost but we created a simple sentence to ask his manager. This removed the anxiety and gave him clarity.

Your perception is only one perception of your reality but when you shift your perception, you can improve your ability quickly. You may be good, but I know you can be better. One player I’m working with has recently started a six week program of shifting perception to gain a psychological advantage over opponents and in the competitive nature of football, gaining an edge over your competitors is essential to your survival as a professional player.

Self talk or your inner voice will drive you to success, mediocrity or failure.

The lesson here is simple. Our behaviours and perceptions are learned from various experiences in our lives. The brilliant thing is because it’s learned we can unlearn these behaviours and perceptions and create more appropriate and purposeful ones.

The first thing you have to do to create change is having a reason to change.

What’s your reason to change?

If this blog has intrigued you and you want to know more, get in touch and I’d be happy to share more with you. Perhaps your curious to learn what it’s all about, how it works, what you can do right now and if it’s worth your time.

As a specialist coach, helping people like you improve is what I do best so allow me to help you be your best.

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Are you a professional or amateur athlete wanting a new perspective on how to improve your situation? Find out more by clicking here

The Journey To Become The Most Sought After Sports Mental Performance Specialist Part 11

“When people honor each other, there is a trust established that leads to synergy, interdependence, and deep respect. Both parties make decisions and choices based on what is right, what is best, what is valued most highly.”

Blaine Lee

The short message that had so much power

I’ve been let down in the past.

People have told me they can use my skills and abilities and the opportunity will happen soon, yet fail to produce that opportunity.

This has made me skeptical to offers. About four years ago I stupidly put my faith into one person who pretty much convinced me a new role had been created for me and it would be ready to start in September.

September came and went. He had no answers to me because the creation of the role was out of his hands and although his intentions came from a good place, the reality was, I had relied on this move happening and had mentally prepared to leave my day job. My respect for this person dropped immensely.

History has a sense of repeating itself and about a year and a half ago, another person promised me a role and sold the concept really well but this time I was more cautious.

Although my hopes were raised, my eggs weren’t all in one basket and when the opportunity failed to materialise, I shrugged it off. But my respect for this person dropped.

Something had to change and for change to happen I had to identify the pattern so I could change it. There is a pattern that has three key stages

• I reach out to others with my ambitions and abilities
• They suggest an opportunity
• The opportunity doesn’t happen

The feeling of disappointment when putting my faith into others, hurts and I had had enough.

I needed a mindset shift!

I had to shift from relying on others to make things happen, to relying on myself to make things happen.

This mindset doesn’t come naturally to me and the learning curve has been insightful and eye-opening and over the last few months, I’ve been having conversations with people that see the value in my skills, but rather than rely on them providing me with opportunities, I’ve been suggesting opportunities to them.

Mindset shifts are powerful and although I help others create mind shifts for improved performances, I had to reflect and have a word with myself to create change.

When people let me down now, I quickly put them to one side until they are ready, if ever, to prove themselves to me as that allows me to redirect my energies into my ambitions and growth.

After a phone call lasting about an hour, I learned we had a lot in common and what I offered would be beneficial to their cause.

I put something together based on our conversation and the direction they want to go in and popped it across in an email.

Later on that day, I received a message saying ‘spot on’.

That was all I needed to read.

You may be thinking this blog is a bit ambiguous and you’d be right.

One of the other lessons I’ve learned is to keep things under wraps until the I’s are dotted and the T’s crossed.

My journey to become the most sought after sports mental performance specialist is twisting and turning in new ways and I am practicing patience.

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Are you a professional or amateur athlete wanting a new perspective on how to improve your situation? Find out more by clicking here