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Inner Voice

What is self-talk and how does it effect your life?

What is self-talk?

Self-talk refers to your inner-dialogue.  Oftentimes your inner voice reflects your internal biases and judgements.  Therefore self-talk is something we do throughout the day.

This could be planning your day mentally, reminding yourself of things that need your attention or observations.

Self-talk doesn’t always reflect your true feelings  or opinions, but learned biases, passed down by your parents.  Or a reflection of things you are constantly hearing.

The 3 types of self-talk

There are 3 common types of self-talk; neutral, positive and negative.

Neutral self-talk

These are general observations you make throughout the day.  Like recognising the cold or a smell.  Basically these thoughts have neither positive or negative connotations.

Positive self-talk

These are thoughts that make us feel good about ourselves and our environment.  It is focused on treating yourself with kindness and compassion.

They can help us mitigate the effects of stress and anxiety and fend off feelings of depression.  Positive self-talk greatly improves your quality of life.  For example you might say “You’ve done well today”, or “that didn’t go to plan but what can you do differently next time?”

Negative self-talk

It can take many forms and can sound like the musings of your inner-critic.  Therefore it limits your ability to believe in yourself and reach your potential.

Moreover, it diminishes your ability to make positive changes and lowers your confidence.  With lower confidence, it can have harmful effects on your mental health and increase feelings of stress, anxiety and lead to depression.

Negative self-talk can also alter your perception of reality, making you think others are out to get you or even hold grudges against you, due to your own preconceived notions.

The effect on athletes

As one of my clients said:

“I’ve tried sports psychologists, read over 15 self-improvement books, I’m constantly trying to understand my mind and the minds of those that are successful, but the biggest lesson I’ve learned from working with Mike is that my biggest asset is myself and I can tap into that without any special tactics or interventions when I let go of the habits and social constructs I’ve aligned myself with.  My wellbeing is 100% better

Through recognising his biggest asset is himself, he took back control of his inner dialogue and created change in a way that worked for him.

To find out more about self talk visit us by clicking here

Categories
mindset

Alternative to using a sports psychologist

What’s an alternative to using a sports psychologist?

“I expected a better personal performance but nothing this drastic!  This is the first time in my 10-plus-year career, I’ve scored 20 points and not missed a single shot”

Let me give you the back-story to this quote.

In 2013, A professional basketball player wrote a weekly column in a newspaper and one week he wrote about his struggles and his inability to create the change he wanted.

He was known as a scorer, had represented England but had lost his scoring touch and had no idea why.

Being a basketball guy with a new set of skills to try, I reached out to him offering my time to listen to him and to see if we could create a change.

We arranged a time to talk on the phone.  He spoke openly and honestly, and as I listened, I pulled out my new bag of tricks at relevant moments, asking specific questions, which allowed him to consider new perspectives to try on and I remember him pausing for a moment after I suggested something particular about miscommunication and in hindsight, this was his breakthrough moment.

Our call lasted around 45 minutes and I for one, had no idea what would happen at his next game which was the night after.

I didn’t make contact with him after the game but remember having a conversation with him and he telling me he would love to write about his experience and give me a mention in his article, which you can read here.

In his own words, he told of his drastic turnaround and unbelievable performance.  I was really happy for him and pleased the money I’d invested in my personal development had helped someone overcome their struggles.

What method did I use to help him? Was it therapy, counselling? Was this an alternative to sports psychology?

Other alternatives to sports psychologists

Therapy – Therapy is working with the client who seeks relief from psychological or physical symptoms and deals with the client’s mental health. Coaching deals with the client’s mental growth

Training – The trainer by definition is the expert, and the training course is likely to be targeted on specific skills for immediate results

Consultancy – A consultant provides expertise and solves business problems, or develops a business as a whole. A consultant deals with the overall organisation or specific parts of it and not individuals within it

Teaching – Teaching passes knowledge from teacher to student. The teacher knows something the student does not. The opposite is true in coaching. The client is the expert and the client has the answers, not the coach

Mentoring – Mentoring is when a senior colleague, seen as more knowledgeable and worldly wise gives advice and provides a role model. A mentor is a sponsor with great professional experience in their client’s field of work

Counselling – Counselling is working with a client who feels uncomfortable, or dissatisfied with their life. They are seeking guidance and advice

What method had I used? 

In the 1970’s two men at the University of California, Santa Cruz, John Grinder, a linguist, and Richard Bandler, an information scientist and mathematician developed Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)

Bandler modelled the methods used by Virgina Satir (1916-1988), American author, social worker, and internationally esteemed family therapist; co-founder of the Mental Research Institute (MRI) in Palo Alto, California.

Bandler also modelled the work of Fritz Perls, (1893–1970), who developed a form of psychotherapy that he known as gestalt therapy. Influenced by Perls’ work, Bandler formed study groups and gave workshops, that were cantered around gestalt therapy.

Bandler and Grinder teamed up, to study the principles that governed the language structure of gestalt therapy. They wanted to define the techniques and skills used by successful therapist.

What was the difference that made the difference?

Bandler and Grinder did whatever worked and removed didn’t work. They studied the work, writings and recordings of Perls and Satir, to extract the essence that made these two therapists exceptional.  (Source)

The NLP strategies I used with the basketball allowed him to understand his reality and what he needed to do differently then take action, all of which he did brilliantly. 

The added value of emotional intelligence

Around the same time with a new open mind to learning and a thirst to learn more, I enrolled on an emotional Intelligence course called Evaluating Truth and Credibility, delivered by The Emotional Intelligence Academy

The course was aimed at helping you understand and identify misalignments in communication between body language and verbal content with the aim to spot when someone is lying or trying to cover up the truth.  I found it fascinating and as the course went on, my mind sought out possibilities to use these concepts in sports, specifically basketball, after all basketball players attempt to trick the opponents and use fakes to gain an advantage.

Having completed the course and now with a heightened, weird sense of wanting to stare at people, I and the director of the Academy, had a conversation about moving my idea forward.  He suggested establishing a test condition with players playing 1 on 1 and gathering film to analyse and break down.  We needed evidence and scientific data to support the theory that players can improve quickly when they learn how to read body language and facial expressions.

The research

For the next 3 months I travelled around the North West of England filming players from professional to amateur, banking 1000 clips of 200 players.  Now the easy part was done, I had to watch these clips over and over and spot commonalities, removing what was useless and using what was useful in an attempt to extract data and then create some kind of program.

Thankfully one of the Director’s son’s Jordan, gave me a helping hand every now and again with the use of the studio and the huge screen they used when analysing facial expressions, making spotting the tells, a lot easier than staring at a 15″ screen.

Now I had a program, what could I do with it? 

Not long afterwards, I had an opportunity to work with another former England player.  I coached him to integrate the new tools into his defensive game which allowed him to improve right there, on the basketball camp he and I were coaching on.

So now with NLP and emotional intelligence training under my belt, I set myself the challenge of creating a new practice to help people overcome struggles and improve performance.

The positives and negatives

Using the best bits of both practices and removing what was useless, I went on to help a female soccer player/psychologist in New York win her first ever MVP in 25 years which again spurred me on to connect with more athletes.

My journey took an unexpected route because I was finding there were many former and current athletes struggling with issues that affected their performance and wellbeing.  Unable to reach out for help, they tolerated their situation and some lost out on some great opportunities such as the football player who was on the verge of signing for Paris Saint-Germain (PSG), but missed out because he didn’t have the opportunity to reach out and explore how and why his mind was talking him out of taking that opportunity.

The more people I spoke with, the more I learned.  The more I learned, the more I adapted what I now call the Neuro Emotional Awareness Training (NEAT) program.

Using the same principles but different delivery methods to suit the client, here are some of the success stories over the years:

Powerful words from clients

“MY WELLBEING IS 100% BETTER. I’ve tried sports psychologists, I’ve read over 15 self-improvement books, I’m constantly trying to understand my mind and the minds of those who are successful, but the biggest lesson I’ve learned from working with Mike is that my biggest asset is myself and I can tap into that without any special tactics or interventions when I let go of the habits and social constructs I’ve aligned myself with“ Pro basketball player


“I’ve never experienced coaching like this before? Mostly in books I’ve read they give you techniques like visualisation, positive self-talk and body language etc which I find useful, but in this program I actually get to know who I am and what I stand for: I’ve started to realise what are the things that distract me, and the people who negatively influence me. I’ve actually learned to be aware of my thoughts“ Football (soccer) player – Finland


“Definitely since I first spoke to you I haven’t felt any negative thoughts or anxiety completely at all which is fantastic!”  Football player – UK


“I expected a better personal performance but nothing this drastic! This is the first time in my 10-plus-year career I’ve scored 20 points and not missed a single shot.”  Pro Basketball Player – UK


“I am continuing to apply the technique without much thought needed. “I won my first ever MVP!”  Soccer player – USA


“Yes, can definitely recommend with golfers or other sportsmen, it can help anybody improve in their sport”  Pro golfer – UK


“The amount I’ve improved the last month is CRAZY! Your help is honestly incredible”  esports FIFA Pro – UK


The value in talking

Their words keep me driving forward and wanting to help others who are struggling but to those athletes struggling I say this:

Of those who have struggled in the past, the majority have said they wished they had spoken up sooner and sought help sooner, which could have helped them avoid avoid therapy or counselling

It can be difficult to reach out to your coach, agent, or team psychologist because there is the association with the club and that association can be enough to put someone off from asking for help because you might be fearful of being exposed as weak or fear being judged or criticised for asking for help, which in turn jeopardises your career and livelihood.

As you can see, we are much different than sports psychologists

Our alternative to a sports psychologist

As an individual, one alternative to using a sports psychologist is accessing the NEAT system from the comfort of your own home, in your own time WITHOUT the fear of being judged or criticised and without the fear of your words or experiences getting back to anyone because our primary goal is to help you for your sake.  We will only share your experiences if you give us permission, if you think your experiences can teach others.

Get in touch if:

  • You’re struggling and feel like quitting
  • You feel alone
  • You feel you can’t live up to expectations
  • You don’t trust some of your friends
  • You’ve struggled with confidence in your head

When you get in touch and I listen to your thoughts, I can offer you:

  • The space to be confident
  • Confidential and discreet 1-2-1 coaching
  • Non-judgemental service without criticising
  • Accessible and flexible contact methods
  • Proof that the coaching works from past successes

Should you decide to hire our company to help you, know that:

  • Together we will remove your struggles and rediscover your love for the game
  • Together we will form a partnership of trust
  • Together we will learn what your expectations are
  • Together we will help your mind find balance and calm
  • Together we will improve your status

How we can help sporting organisations

As a professional sporting organisation, we understand success on and off the field of play is essential to your brand, your fans and investors and when a player’s performance drops, losses can come quickly, putting everyone under pressure and as a former high level player and professional coach, I know more than most, what that pressure feels like. 

As a sporting organisation, by hiring us, you instantly remove the distraction of managing the mental performance of the player, and let us do the hard work for you, so you can focus on what you do best. 

Will coaching be used as a replacement for sports psychologists?

Sports psychology and coaching are two very different methods of engagement, each with their merits and strategies. Exploring coaching options when sports psychology is drawing a blank would be the smart option and vice versa. You have to find a way that works for you based on past results and experiences.

What can you do now?

Explore your options, and there is no better way to explore your option than speaking with a professional.

Visit us at elitesportsminds23 or drop us a message

Categories
esports mindset

Discussing mindsets and wellbeing in esports

A few weeks ago I was honoured to join Megan Van Petten, MA from the Esports Trade Association on a podcast to discuss mindsets, dealing with pressure, thought patterns and much more.

Check out the podcast and comment with your thoughts.

Categories
mindset My Journey overcoming challenges

How I made it to #1 on the Amazon Best Seller List!

When I checked my bookshelf in my amazon KDP account I saw #25 and some words

This information was new to me so I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking at

I clicked on the link that took me to a page with more numbers and then I saw #1

Could this be possible? Could I actually be at #1?

Let me take you back a few months to the start of this journey, a time when I needed an outlet and a new way to share my knowledge

The Research

I watched a webinar on the Internet about how you can make money by publishing books. It was delivered by two young lads who were very convincing and energetic and as I watched the webinar I took note of some of the names they mentioned

I’m someone who doesn’t like to be scammed so I reached out to one person and surprisingly he was really helpful and showed me his figures and told me it would be hard work, I’d have to put the effort in but he now makes 3k a month by doing nothing

Wow!

I had to put faith in my ability to do things and as a former high level athlete I know when you put the work in you get results. I was willing to put the work in

The course I enrolled in is very informative, honest and new and I had a steep learning curve to climb

There were things I was learning I knew nothing about but overcoming challenges is what I thrive in, so I continued to learn and implement the teachings

As a mental performance coach and with a passion for mental health, the self help niche was the one I wanted to explore, but the experts told me to stay away as its a saturated market

But I understood that warning was aimed at novices and I had something unique. I had experience, clients had found success with me and I had a unique angle.

I was going to go for it!

The Journey

One of the first things I had to do was seek out key words and phrases which took a few weeks to get my head around but once that was done, things began to get easier

Now I had to find someone to turn my idea into something substantial

I wrote an outline and included the essential parts and sent it to a writing agency who would give my ideas some meat

Here we go!

Excitedly I connected with a writer and began to see my idea take shape. This was the start of something amazing. In two weeks I’d have my completed manuscript

But…

After three weeks and little progress she left the organisation

I was shocked

The agency told me they would allocated a new writer quickly and after a few days the new writer introduced herself to me and we started from scratch

Her communication was brilliant and her eagerness to complete the book seemed genuine

But…

After a few weeks she left!

She had written about 3000 words of the 30,000 and now she was gone

WTF!

Overcoming Challenges

Again I was told a new writer would be allocated to me and I was offered a discount which I negotiated and as haply with the plans put in place to move forward

I’m not the kind of person to hold grudges but I am the kind of person who seeks out solutions when things go wrong. Third time lucky?

This time the momentum gathered and I built a small team of 3. Writer, cover designer and copy writer. In just 4 weeks I had my manuscript, cover and copy, all downloaded to my folder. All I had to do now was log onto my KDP account and upload the separate documents.. What could go wrong?!

Perhaps it was the past events that led me to be cautious or a little bit of imposter syndrome kicking in but when I published the book, I expected the worse. Quite literally, the reverse happened

Good Fortune

Part of the process is to offer the book for free to gain some interest and I sent it to about 15 family and friends so when I saw the number of downloads I was confused. In just 2 days I’d had over 1500 people download it which led to the #1 ranking in my niche of self help and counselling for free downloads and #25 in all genres!

This ranking told me something about myself – I was able to follow instructions and take action and somehow made the decision to say yes to the manuscript, yes to the cover design and yes to the keywords, put them all together and create a book that grabs people’s attention

Now I have to start a paid promotion to get the book in front of paying customers with the aim to help as many people I can around the world

Shut up! #1 ranking

The book titled Shut Up! 7 simple steps to master your negative self talk, remove anxiety symptoms, stop beating yourself up then take back control and build good habits is availbe now by clicking here

Will I make #1 as a paid book? At only £0.99 or $0.99 it’s worth having a look right?

Categories
#mental health Inner Voice Tips

If you suffer from negative self talk maybe this free book will inspire you

Over the last few months I’ve painstakingly and methodically wrote down my training, expertise, research and stories around negative self talk and need to share with anyone who’s struggled with negative self talk. The book is called:

Shut up! 7 simple steps to master your negative self-talk, remove anxiety symptoms, stop beating yourself up, then take back power, and build good habits.

My book is published and is available on Amazon, click the link below to get a free copy!

This is exciting!

Feel free to send it to friends and family who will also benefit from a free download. This free download is only available between 7.00AM Wednesday 4th August and Monday 9th August 6.59am (GMT)

Here’s the first link to download the book for free

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Shut-Negative-Self-Talk-Symptoms-Yourself-ebook/dp/B09BMHG3NS/

Dowloading it affects the amazon algorithm and puts the book on front of more people who would benefit from reading it.

Once you’ve read it, please leave a review as they also help with gaining more exposure and putting it in front of those people who would really benefit from it

Any problems with the download please comment and I’ll respond.

Take care

Mike

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Uncategorized

NLP and the professional athlete

The picture suggests even in old age you can enjoy sports but I wonder of these two ever struggled when they were younger?

When you’re struggling, something needs to change

Change comes with doing something differently and thinking differently

What can we determine as needing to do things differently?

Drawing on my experience I’ve identified a few situations athletes find themselves in including

  • Losing confidence in ability
  • Losing a sense of purpose and identity
  • Cracking under pressure

When I write about creating change I have to acknowledge there are other ways you can get help. Sports psychologists, CBT are two examples.

NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming is a way you can overcome your challenges

What benefits can you experience with NLP? The athletes I’ve worked with told me

  • My wellbeing is 100% better
  • I won my first ever MVP
  • I’ve not had any anxiety since
  • I’ve never shot the ball this well

Each athlete I’ve worked with is unique and each had their perspective of what was wrong and what needed to change but with specific questioning and listening, the athlete was able to find the answers to the questions they dared not to ask before

I love NLP because there is no one size fits all approach. There is no one strategy that works for all athletes yet the outcomes are often the same – a sense of recognition that things will be OK and they should have done something sooner

It’s almost like they are different people! Imagine knowing you had a button but were scared to press it. But you knew if that button was pressed, your troubles and worries would disappear and your performance would improve

NLP gives you the confidence to press that button

As a former high level athlete and professional coach, I have an insight to the challenges you face and with the training in NLP and emotional intelligence, combined with being an introvert, my listening and observations skills are heightened, meaning I can create the perfect environment for a you to open up and allow me to guide you

No professional athlete deserves to suffer because your lively hood will be at risk in this competitive environment in which you can be let go or left to one side at the drop of a hat, so giving yourself the best chance to succeed is a no-brainer

If you have no idea about NLP and you’re struggling, my suggestion is simple

Reach out to people and find a solution that works for you

Now is the perfect time to consider coaching using NLP

We are coming out of lock down, competitions are starting up and you’ll be ready for your next competition

Categories
mindset motivation Tips

Learn the secrets even the professionals don’t know!

In the ten years I’ve been coaching, there have been players that have learned more about themselves in the 6 weeks they work with me than they have in their sporting careers

Testimony

The testimony from a professional basketball player was evidence of this observation and now I want you to access the same secrets he was able to unlock in just 6 weeks. Click here to read his testimony

But there’s a bonus!

Quick results

The course is available online by clicking here and you can go through the content in a lot less than six weeks

But going through the course, listening to the highly informative content and making notes won’t be enough unless you take action

Your actions

Taking action is the one thing that will set you apart from those who like the idea of improving and those who actually improve

Reminder

Here’s another chance to access this course that takes the useful parts of personal development, removes the useless parts, (I hate wasting time) and gives you a unique course you won’t find anywhere else yet gets powerful results. Click here

Play with purpose!

Mike

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Uncategorized

Coaching – the mental side

Coaching sport should be fun, enjoyable and productive, not just for the players but coaches as well

I’ve taken my experience and insights and wrote a book with the secrets that any coach would benefit from knowing

The book starts with me describing our school basketball team’s journey to the championship game to me working with professional players but more importantly provides insights

If you’re an aspiring coach, a youth coach, a professional coach and you like the idea of trying something new to improve wellbeing and performance then this is for you

You can get the book on Amazon at this introductory price (or free in Amazon Prime)

Just click here

Categories
#mental health Become who you want to be mindset overcoming challenges

Why did the professional basketball player look at his wrist?

The Reality

Jamell Anderson knew his reality and knew something wasn’t right but he wasn’t sure what it was or what to do about it. Accepting the reality is the first step towards finding success.

Some athletes choose not to do anything and try to work through the struggles. But sometimes they never find the solution. Jamell reached out to me and this journey to understand his ‘why’ began

Opening up and honesty

When you’re truthful to yourself without the fear of being judged or criticised, solutions come quickly because the mask is removed. Hiding behind the mask serves no purpose other to continue to deflect away from the struggles.

Jamell opened up and I learned so much from this humble young man but at the same time he was learning about himself.

The Options

There are always options but sometimes those options are hidden from view, or a limiting or mistaken belief is stopping you from seeing those options.

We explored many different ways to move forward, trying new things until we found the way that worked for him

Every athlete has their own journey

When helping an athlete there is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach. Each athlete has their own past and values, and the secret is to uncover what these are, amongst other things, and allow the athlete to understand what works for them.

Jamell and I uncovered a lot until he found a way that worked for him

The solution

The goal for Jamell was to discover how to remove the mental challenges then replace these challenges with solutions. We explored his values, reframed his thinking until he felt connected to what needed to be done.

In the clip, Jamell looks at his wrist as a reminder. Over the 6 weeks in which we talked for about an hour each time, looking at his wrist was the culmination of the conversations, insights and discoveries. He had found his purpose and way of playing that worked for him that improved his performance and wellbeing

I was so proud of this young man, firstly for taking control of his situation, and secondly for taking action

Jamell’s thoughts on the coaching

What was it that led to you connecting with Mike?

I’ve known Mike over the years as someone who has always tried to help when he can, I believe that I needed his advice and knowledge to push me in the right direction at a point in my life when I was ready to make a change for the better.

Had you tried using other methods to help you in the past and what were they?

I’ve tried sports psychologists, I’ve read over 15 self improvement books, I’m constantly trying to understand my mind and the minds of those who are successful, but the biggest lesson I’ve learnt from working with Mike is that my biggest asset is myself and I can tap into that without any special tactics or interventions when I let go of the habits and social constructs I’ve alienged my self with.

What reservations, if any did you have around the coaching? Be honest.

I don’t have any reservations really, I believe he does a great job of communicating bit also at balancing listening with talking to me. Sometimes I just need an ear to speak to and vent my thoughts out loud.

What 3 factors about the coaching delivery style stood out for you

The simplistic nature of the conversation, not using fancy words or over complicated explanations.

His calm nature when speaking made me feel at ease even when before the call I was quite stressed.

His availability, it’s something that goes underappreciated but with my ever changing schedule around training Vs personal life it was great to be able to be so flexible with timings.

The coaching is aimed at improving performance and wellbeing. How did the coaching affect your performance and wellbeing?

My performance was always something that I judged by stats, now I judged it by my mental state. If I’m Inna good mental state it doesn’t matter how i play because my experience will be what I want it to be regardless of the stats. My well being is 100% better because each day I’m just being myself and there’s no bugger comfort in a world filled with false high expectations and fakery.

If you were to recommend Mike to other professional athletes, what would you tell them to expect?

To find their true self by removing the unnecessary baggage the world around them has added to their backs.


If you know a professional athlete or you are a professional athlete who knows something isn’t right but not sure what to do about it or who to turn to, I’m inviting you to talk and I guarantee I will help you find the answers and solutions you need.

You can call me on +447946279135

Mike

Categories
Uncategorized

Sometimes you gotta put a plate down

Have you ever heard the expression “spinning too many plates” or “juggling too many balls”?

They refer to a person taking on too much with the fear that something may go wrong if they continue to spin or juggle.

So the smart thing to do is put one down so you can manage the others without the fear of being burned out or living in a sense of anxiety.

Over the last few months, I’ve taken on a few more projects and now I realise I’m spinning too many plates and I need to create change so I’ve come up with a foolproof plan!

I’m aware I have followers of my blog and I realise I’ve written a load of content that has value, in fact I’ve created 120 blog posts! WOW!

So what do I do? Can I simply leave these posts behind and move on?

Yes I can!

So how can I be so confident in my decision?

One of the new projects I’ve taken on lives at a new website called purposeful thinking which can be found here.

My purpose is to help people but I also have to be helping myself and so by removing this site and it’s services, I free up valuable time.

I don’t know how long the process takes and it feels like I’m trying to split up from a girl but not sure if it’s the right thing to do, but I have to make a choice.

Maybe I’ll see you on the other side but if not, I wish you the best

Mike